Wednesday, November 25, 2020


I thought of Leonard Cohen tonight — “this evening” as he sings it in the song on my Apple Music, just now as I write; and how Lykke Li actually not Kurt Cobain was the one who showed me his words, his voice, his songs. She wrote about him on her Social Network one night after finding “a few singles” in her closet. She then posted an album she was taking to Sweden with her, none other than “Songs of Love and Hate.”

I hadn’t heard it or anything of his stuff yet. The
year was 2012 or 2013 and I remember finding the record not
on vinyl but on Spotify, this new music service that had every song and every album ever made; from the makers of Facebook! Oh God, could it be that bad?

The music I first listened to was “Bird On A Wire.” I loved it instantly. Love and Hate came next. It made me weep.

Been struggling these days a lot in the same ways, but also in new ways.

I remembered coughing today and I do not miss that one bit.

I’ve moved into a new part of Waukesha, known to me as “Grandma Duescher Territory.” She lived around this Sunset main drag back in the 80’s and 90’s with my Grandpa Duescher.

They had a pool back in the day and all the local kids would get in a car, a minivan, or hightop van later, and go swimming during the summers of Jurassic Park and Batman Returns, and some other movie years I’m spacing on now.

We visited this part of town every Easter, complete with an egg and basket hunt. Candy and toys. Also Thanksgiving and specifically Christmas Eve. Oh man the presents and homemade foods. Oh man the crafts my Grandma Duescher would make!

She did a lot of sewing. She made a custom job on my saved rapper from my Batman Returns trading cards. She also loved buckets. Bulls Basketball was everything to her and so was our family; my little brother and sister, her only grandkids. Being a person from a place near Chicago: Glenview, she loved the Cubbies too.

I miss her and my Grandpa so much.

Their names were Marge and John Duescher. Like Marge in the Simpsons. She also loved Jesus.

Ok well I guess having tears is just a normal thing for a guy like me these days.

What am I going to do with my time here in Grandma Duescher Territory?

I’ve made a hell of a killing on my three scripts edit. With no where to query… You’d think that would be a wise thing to do. Maybe so, maybe not.

I’ve been dishing out money for Netflix and Amazon Prime, why not another monthly ten dollars on the ISA Networks site for screenwriters? I guess we’ll see what happens.

My text is impeccable. I’ve never felt more confident in anything I’ve ever done, with these 3 screenplays after the new edit this week.

A Devil came up on a very thought out and random spread I did yesterday. Also a Star and Satiety, in the upper left hand quadrant.

Today was another weird draw. The Thoth Tarot is interesting. I hope to learn and gain wisdom from the practice, this ancient culture.

Today my Godfather Uncle Jerry wrote me a birthday card. He’s been more present this year. Having a new found interest in Catholicism, I’m lucky to have him in my life. He sent me a Rosary a few weeks back. Today I found a small manila envelope in my new mailbox, from him, with some cool stuff about praying with the Rosary. He also paid to have me prayed for in a Catholic Church, down in Florida, three times a month at mass for my birthday present.

He’s married to my Aunt Wanda. I saw them maybe three years or two years ago. It was actually July of 2019.

“About time, it’s really going, Can you slow it down,
Can you slow it down?
If you could you would,

And if you could you should…”

It is time to shift gears. Work on a list:

-Short story
-Short film
-Record music
-Film scenes
-Read books, comics and magazines

-Video games
-Watch movies and television
-Set overheads
-Tarot Cards
-Study the Uncle Jerry Catholic stuff -Stretches

“ZEPHOR RETURNS” Story outline:





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